"The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them."

"There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together."

"Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought."

"Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people."

"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."

"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."

"The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation."

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby."

"No great man ever complains of want of opportunity."

"A wisely chosen illustration is almost essential to fasten the truth upon the ordinary mind, and no teacher can afford to neglect this part of his preparation."

"Being another character is more interesting than being yourself."

"God is a verb."