"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'."

"You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity."

"If money is the root of all evil, then why do we have to have jobs?"

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."

"Do not fear mistakes, there are none."

"People take different roads seeking fullfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

"Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified it is not criticism, learn from it."

"We must not make a scarecrow of the law, setting it up to fear the birds of prey, and let it keep one shape, till custom make it their perch and not their terror."

"I was in love with loving."

"He who spares the wicked injures the good."