"If you are ruled by mind you are a king; if by body, a slave."

"I was simply furnishing a home. I love music ... and I don't think a $130,000 indoor-outdoor stereo system is extravagant."

"That a man can take pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to make me despise him. He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a backbone was all he needed."

"Education - The ability to quote Shakespeare without crediting it to the Bible."

"He who gives what he would as readily throw away, gives without generosity; for the essence of generosity is in self sacrifice."

"If a pessimist is always right, is he a realist?"

"No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days."

"O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant; And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!"

"We all die. The one thing you share with every mortal is death."

"And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle."

"Authenticity matters little, though--our willingness to accept legends depends far more upon their expression of concepts we want to believe than upon their plausibility."

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world."